If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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