so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
