You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Randomize
