i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize