dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Randomize
