I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
