you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
