I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
