Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I still have a little drunk in my system
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
