Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
