ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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