You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
