i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
