you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
