I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
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