Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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