youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
