i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
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