I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
