Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
