ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
