im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
