Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
