Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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