is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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