we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
