His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
