Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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