I'll bet she douches with gravy.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
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