She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
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