My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
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