I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Randomize
