You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
