No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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