Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Randomize
