So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
