i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Randomize
