i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
do herpes really smell.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
