Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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