similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
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