Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
