swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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