There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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