Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
