Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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