Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
