but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
