i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Randomize
