Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
We left the knife in your bed.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
