a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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