i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Randomize
