Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Randomize
