i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Randomize
