I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
