TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
