Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
