Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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