her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
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