She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
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