this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
