chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
