As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
