dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
